When Burkhard Ziese showed up as an expatriate coach for the Malawi National Football Team, he had hope that he was going to transform a staggering giant into a national team worth its name.
Ziese, I remember, made a stunning verdict of Malawi football. After watching Big Bullets play against my Mighty Wanderers, Ziese did not mince words and described our football as hopeless. What shocked the German was that Bullets and my Wanderers are held in high esteem and anyone new in town would expect grade A-rated soccer. But, to the chagrin of the German, it was kick and rush, hoof and puff then nothing. When he made his views known, everyone was rabid and rained insults at the innocent German for his candid and raw perception of our football.
Less than a year ago, Peter Woeste—ironically another German—had no kind words for us as a nation when he looked at us in the eye and told us to stop the culture of looking West for solutions to our man-made problems: “We are not your headmasters,” was Woeste’s blunt reaction.
Last week, a bitter dosage of truth was served to us by the Norwegian Ambassador to Malawi, Kikkan Haugen. As any person who claims sanity, Haugen did not hide a line of truth by telling us that it is a shame that Malawi—53 years after independence—unabashedly walks about with its holed begging bowl. From all Haugen said, the bare fact is that we are too much into stealing such that the little we have in this country is shared among politicians, crooked CEOs and the gang that surrounds the president.
On Saturday, I read a report by Osisa which damned Malawi’s presidents—past and present— as overseers of the grand loot of
this nation’s coffers. Both State House Press Secretary, Mgeme Kalilani, and the government spokesperson, Nicholas Dausi, have quickly come in to absolve their boss Peter Mutharika. Of course it is their job, a tough one, to paint a rosy picture of their boss, Mutharika. You can only excuse the two.
But one thing the two cannot succeed at is to convince people like me that Mutharika is an angel with a halo over his head. To me, Mutharika is just like presidents before him; presidents who presided over shameless looting of this country and even went a step further to canonise it.
It only takes a certified idiot to believe that Mutharika is unaware of the corruption that has gained ground on his watch. Because we have a culture of silence, CEOs of parastatals are having sleepless nights as they are being pressed to release funds to you-know-who, yet they cannot say it for fear of losing their jobs. And there are also some willing CEOs who were appointed to their positions simply to help steal and fund political parties. These do this knowingly and they are not even ashamed or perturbed.
Had it been that I do not write for a Sunday paper, I would have said this nation is governed by dirty thieves who deserve to be stoned. But I will not.
The other day, I was forced to take the nostalgic lane to the glorious days of my Ndirande Newlines. Back in the days, my Ndirande Newlines used to be a beautiful place. On Tuesdays— or was it Wednesdays?—and Saturdays we were assured that garbage collectors would be on call and that by 6 o’clock streetlights would be on. By July 6 of every year, the Malawi Housing Corporation made sure all houses were painted, there were hydrants all over our neighbourhoods and the drainage and sewer systems were just perfect.
My Ndirande Newlines is just an example of the backward path this nation has taken. People who dismally failed as ministers are promoted to the presidency and we are just okay with it. Sadly, not many people would look at Mutharika in the face and tell him that his performance as president is full of flaws. Just like his blundering predecessors, Mutharika has failed to distinguish himself as a leader of note. Joyce Banda was out of sorts and people thought Mutharika would take this nation out of stagnation. But, three years later, Mutharika is just doing exactly what Joyce Banda did: taking this country to perdition.
Raw as it might have sounded, I must say again, Kikkan Haugen, the Norwegian Ambassador to Malawi, said exactly what needs to be said about this country.
We are such a shame that we have let crooks and their cronies govern us. The harvest of this seed of corruption is nothing other than the poverty that has become synonymous with this country. Sadly, we need people from elsewhere to remind us that we are a joke of a nation. I am sure there are people out there who are fitful and mad with Haugen’s unadulterated sentiments about this nation’s decision to regress. If I were given a chance, I would meet the Norwegian envoy and all I would tell him is, say it louder, Kikkan!
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