We are in a jam-packed bus on our way to Salima District. Passengers are bitter that the bus crew has decided to pack them like sardines in a tin.
Of course, the driver, conductor and katunduboyi (luggage handler) argue that they would rather over-load their vehicle than risk not making any profits.
“You see, we have bought diesel at three times the normal pump price. As if that is not enough, we have to palm oil traffic police officers on the way who normally, if not abnormally, charge us with over-speeding even when the bus is driving as slow as 40 kilometres per hour. So can’t you feel pity for us? Zinthu zavuta izi, tiyeni tingozolowera (Things are really bad. Let’s just get used to the situation),” says the driver.
My friend Khumbo, who is sitting next to me, sparks a very controversial debate. I try to stop him from being a lead talker but my advice hits a snag.
He says: “Why should we get used to bad things? Let us just agree that those we gave the mandate to run this country have run out of ideas. Why should we suffer when we voted for them?”
“Please, please, leave this political talk, mumangidwa nazo za ziiii (you will get arrested in vain),” I plead with him.
A lady sitting next to the conductor faults me.
“Your friend is not wrong to talk like that. We’re suffering. What pains me most is that these people are failing to be accountable. Why should we be denied the right to seek the truth from those we voted for?
“Can you imagine that some people are even blaming Malawians for demanding that public officials be accountable? And why should some people be spared from arrest just because of their connections to the political heavy-weights?
“Mayi (madam), it just confirms that this country is full of ungrateful people. It starts with these men. Women always toil day and night but they don’t appreciate. They only pretend to love you when they need to satisfy their libido which is normally at night,” says another lady at the back seat, igniting laughter and excitement in the bus.
Then, the driver, either coincidentally or deliberately, plays some popular hit, part of which relics go: ‘Mmamawa galu, masana galu, usiku bwera, usiku bwenzi’ (disregarded all day, only to be loved at night).
“Umayitha driver, faka mpweya (you have good timing you driver, more fire!)” shouts some young shabbily dressed man.
“Indeed that is exactly what men and politicians do. Look, we voted en-masse for a government and we find even the man at the top castigating us. It is sad the politicians don’t respect those who vote for them and look down upon them as some cartoons or useless people, forgetting that these voters are the ones that are their bosses,” says the lady at the back seat.
Khumbo adds more controversy: “You think they can remember us, locals, akampompa ngolo (valueless people)? Have you never heard of a case where some people campaigned hard and even poured millions of kwacha in the campaign, only to be dumped and arrested after those they campaigned for got positions? You can sweat it out during campaign and not know that you are just being used and would be dumped when priorities change. These are realities of the world.”
The lady next to the conductor seems more excited. “I have told you politicians are like men, they use you and dump you like condoms or bad-smelling socks. Men would call you all sorts of names during the day; they can call you hule, mbava(prostitute or thief) or anything but, come night, the same man starts pleading with you to draw closer to him!”
The conductor cuts her short: “Madam, please don’t ever say the word ‘prostitute’. You might be taken to task or sued. Don’t you know that these days, sex workers are known as ‘Leisure Assistants’? That’s the approved title. Those people you want to rebuke are people like you; the only difference between the ‘Leisure Assistants’ and you, married women, is that, like taxis, they are at the ‘rank’ and you are like vehicles parked at home.”
“Koma inu, mpaka ‘Leisure Assistant’? So, it is true that minibus conductors and drivers are well versed in issues of prostitution and beer drinking? Actually, it would not be surprising that you are over-packing us and overcharging us so that you enjoy with your ‘Leisure Assistants’ at Kamuzu Road in Salima tonight!” remarks the lady next to the conductor as all of us laugh.
Without realising it, we have reached Chipoka, some five stages away from Salima. This is where my friend Khumbo disembarks from the bus.
How time flies!
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