On payday back when the Malawi Kwacha was at times at par with the South African Rand, we were kings.<\/p>\n
Once you collected your pay envelope from Accounts, the rest of the day either went too fast or too excruciatingly slow depending on one\u2019s circumstances.<\/p>\n
In general, we fell into two broad categories. The first comprised the usual suspects and for these, payday was curse.<\/p>\n
Payday was a torture because within the month they would have drawn salary advances \/ loans under all sorts of pretexts. Now, come the month-end, the paymaster would unfailingly recover the advances, leaving their net salaries deformed beyond recognition.<\/p>\n
A badly mutilated salary was just half the story. The other half was a long line of creditors waiting at either the reception or the main gate.<\/p>\n
These creditors, mostly women who provided meals or sold beans, second-hand clothes, pots and all sorts of wares on credit on the understanding that come the 27th, customers would settle their accounts, were a no nonsense lot.<\/p>\n
It was not wise to mess with them, nevertheless some daredevils did.<\/p>\n
Blues\u2019 Orators, on 27th we used to witness drama as professional debt-dodgers, eager NOT to part with a single tambala to the furious vendors, tried all manner of tricks to evade the creditors.<\/p>\n
We heard all sorts of outrageous yarns being sold to the irate vendors as to why this or that gentleman – much as they would have loved to – was not in a position to clear their account. We also witnessed a variety of stunts as desperate men tried in vain to dodge creditors.<\/p>\n
For this lot, the time between collecting a wage envelope to knocking off flew with a distressing swiftness.<\/p>\n
The second category comprised carefree guys fresh from college or university. For this lot, the time between collecting pay envelopes to knocking off seemed to last an eternity.<\/p>\n
I was in this category and when the time finally came, I promptly hit the road, destination: Pats\u2019 Restaurant.<\/p>\n
Pats was a trendy pub situated opposite Escom House.<\/p>\n
Having thus registered \u201cpresent bwana!\u201d and caught up with the gossip in Blantyre CBD, we would disperse. Sometimes I would invade Chilomoni; other times Kamba, Bangwe, Zingwangwa or Ndixville: Chimseu or New Lines.<\/p>\n
Once installed on a stool in a local pub, armed with a packet of 555 by State Express of London, I was \u201croyalty\u201d to the manner born.<\/p>\n
You wouldn\u2019t have been resident of Windsor Castle, just touring Kabula.<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t buy by the bottle, no. A crate, or half a crate was my minimum.<\/p>\n
Any friend who popped in was showered with beers. Somehow, even without Facebook or cell phones back then, word that a \u201cking\u201d was in the vicinity didn\u2019t take too long to get around.<\/p>\n
Very soon, friends, neighbours, relatives, all and sundry would surround me, laughing hard at all my stale jokes.<\/p>\n
If anyone whispered to me that they fancied kanyenya, my response was \u201cCharge Lonrho!\u201d<\/p>\n
If anyone craved for this or that they only had to beg and I would bellow to the bar tender, \u201cCharge Lonrho!\u201d<\/p>\n
For any round of beer I ordered, my decree to the bar tender was \u201cCharge Lonrho!\u201d<\/p>\n
Late in the night, sometimes into the wee hours of tomorrow, by this time totally inebriated and therefore drunkenly believing that I was either a prince or indeed the tycoon Roland \u201cTiny\u201d Rowland (the owner of Lonrho) himself, I settled the bills, hired a cab and went home.<\/p>\n
Blues\u2019 Orators, this tale might have aroused a huge feeling of wistfulness in you or a whole lot of questions. Since I cannot bring those good old days back, I won\u2019t even try to tame your nostalgia. Rather, I will attend to your curiosity.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat is the message behind, Mapwiya?\u201d is the question you are asking.<\/p>\n
Well, I have been thinking about the Salima – Lilongwe Water Project and how Malawi Congress Party (MCP), which benefitted from Khato Civils in the past, is failing us all.<\/p>\n
Despite the glaring irregularities and shortcuts and despite the MCP President\u2019s fluent condemnation of less grave anomalies, MCP has never whispered a bad word about this extortionate project.<\/p>\n
Listening to MCP Finance Spokesperson the other day, I could not help but marvel at how the mighty have fallen. Blues\u2019 Orators, for all practical purposes, MCP is now Khato\u2019s Debt Collection Unit.<\/p>\n
The irony is that although Goodal Gondwe is dillydallying to consecrate the grand larceny, it doesn\u2019t mean that the Democratic Progressive Party (DPP) is any better, no.<\/p>\n
It was DPP that flouted all procedures, totally ignored the then Attorney General Kalekeni Kaphale\u2019s counsel and landed us into this blackmail.<\/p>\n
Whether SKC\u2019s Transformation Movement will condemn this and undertake to tear it apart if elected, remains to be seen.<\/p>\n
Personally, I doubt it.<\/p>\n
Now, let me tell you a story. During the Mozambique civil war, Malawi\u2019s imports were frequently tampered with and \u2018Alidzi\u2019 sought advice from the owner of Lonrho, Mr Tiny Rowland, who was his buddy.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat could I do to safeguard the Nacala Railway Line?\u201d Alidzi asked.<\/p>\n
The response he got was as shocking as it was ingenious.<\/p>\n
Rowland, goes the story, explained that he had once faced a similar challenge in Rhodesia when Zimbabwean nationalists were fighting the white minority and he had circumvented it.<\/p>\n
\u201cHow?\u201d asked an incredulous Alidzi.<\/p>\n
\u201cI bought off both the white rulers and the nationalist factions, without the other knowing, and the warring sides never touched Lonrho\u2019s assets.\u201d<\/p>\n
This left Alidzi mouth agape, too flabbergasted to speak.<\/p>\n
Lonrho continued, \u201cGive it a go, it could solve Malawi\u2019s problems.\u201d<\/p>\n
Back to the Salima \u2013 Lilongwe Water Project, I am wondering: hasn\u2019t Khato Civils borrowed a leaf from Lonrho?<\/p>\n
I will not be surprised if both DPP and MCP 2019 elections budgets are all \u201cCharge Lonrho!\u201d<\/p>\n
How else does one explain the loud silence surrounding this dubious deal?<\/p>\n
Sad, isn\u2019t\u2019 it?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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