This time, we are attending an engagement ceremony somewhere in Lilongwe. It is interesting how someone, old enough to be a grandfather to some of us, has sparked a debate based on \u2018enhancement of bedroom satisfaction\u2019.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou, young men of these days, don\u2019t know the link between creation and satisfaction. I wish you consulted us, mikoko yogona <\/em>(old guards), when you are failing in your marital obligations!\u201d says the old guard.<\/p>\n But one of his great-grandsons, obviously believing he is too civilised to participate in the conversation, tries to tell off the old man. \u201cAmdala, zinazi muziona saizi <\/em>(you should bear in mind our age gaps when sparkling some of these debates). You are too old to ignite such a debate.\u201d<\/p>\n However, the old man is unmoved. \u201cArthur; that is why your wife left you for another man. If you had taken time to consult me, you would have been a man in bed.\u201d<\/p>\n I get the feeling the old guard, despite facing some resistance from the young generation, has a sense of humour which is liked by many.<\/p>\n He clears his throat, then says: \u201cYou should not underrate the power of natural boosters. It is sad most of you don\u2019t know what chibere chang\u2019ombe <\/em>can do to bring happiness in marital bedrooms!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAmdala, maybe even in extra-marital bedrooms or bushes as well,\u201d retorts one young man of 21 years or thereabouts. We all laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cExactly young man. The Chibere chang\u2019ombe is an aphrodisiac which has not disappointed me; it is a real \u2018man power booster\u2019 that makes a man the envy of all women in the community,\u201d the old man boasts.<\/p>\n \u201cInu agogo, kuli gondolosi ku Mulanje; ndiye zanuzo n\u2019chaninso <\/em>(grand-pa, there is Gondolosi in Mulanje, so why boast too much about your aphrodisiac?),\u201d says another young man sitting close to me. His innocent face qualifies him for a student.<\/p>\n But he says: \u201cWhat makes Chibere chang\u2019ombe <\/em>a better booster is because it mostly comes from the hot district of Salima as opposed to the Mulanje gondolosi, which is subjected to cold weather. Anything concocted in warm environment is hot-hot\u2014 believe it or not!\u201d<\/p>\n We are so much into the discussion without knowing that a group of women is just sitting next to us.<\/p>\n \u201cHe he de!\u201d they laugh.<\/p>\n \u201cAmdala<\/em>, why is it that you, men, are too much into the habit of using sexual boosters? Don\u2019t you think you can satisfy a woman by natural powers?\u201d says one of the women.<\/p>\n The old man lectures her on how both men and women reach the ceiling (maximum) of their sexual prowess. This, he says, is where aphrodisiacs become necessary if relationships are to be saved.<\/p>\n He says: \u201cMayi <\/em>(madam), know that if your husband, or even yourself, doesn\u2019t find a way of \u2018boosting the powers\u2019, someone younger can snatch your loved one. Haven\u2019t you heard that your fellow women hunt for \u2018tseketseke\u2019?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd what is that?\u201d The women ask in unison.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, ask your husbands about the number of times they get across women and old men selling this type of stuff at drinking places at Kamba in Blantyre, Old Town in Mzuzu and Bwandilo in Lilongwe. Don\u2019t ask me how I know, but I am old by age and gray hair but very young in \u2018hot blood\u2019, hence I like hanging out in these places,\u201d jokes the old man, attracting more laughter.<\/p>\n He tells us all of how women who use \u2018tseketseke\u2019 have managed to make men come home straight from the office to get glued to their bedrooms. He claims tseketseke\u2019s cousin in herbs is Mwamuna asayende <\/em>(let the man stay put at home), another concoction, he boasts, he can readily provide.<\/p>\n A young man who has not taken part in the debate remarks: \u201cI agree more with the old man, many pretend not to like these things but just see the magnitude of adverts in papers and radios; you will see plenty on \u2018boosters\u2019.\u201d<\/p>\n He adds: \u201cThis time around, you also see plenty of adverts of Chinese and Indian \u2018boosters\u2019, \u2018enlargers of breasts and other private things\u2019, tighteners and more. All these products are there to foster peace in people\u2019s bedrooms.\u201d<\/p>\n I also see sense. This scribe friend of mine in Mulanje many of a time has preached the same Gospel of \u2018herbal boosters\u2019, unfortunately many think it is very primitive. But I share with the group how Malawi can earn forex by maximising the export market for aphrodisiacs.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This time, we are attending an engagement ceremony somewhere in Lilongwe. It is interesting how someone, old enough to be a grandfather to some of us, has sparked a debate based on \u2018enhancement of bedroom satisfaction\u2019. \u201cYou, young men of these days, don\u2019t know the link between creation and satisfaction. I wish you consulted us, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":21781,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-53944","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53944","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53944"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53944\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":53947,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53944\/revisions\/53947"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21781"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53944"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53944"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53944"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}