\u201cGuys, most of us are a shame. That is a fact. You mean you cannot afford to buy your wives descent clothes? And, by that, I mean \u2018under clothes\u2019 inclusive? Most of you even travel outside the country for conferences, seminars or business trips, and your spouses don\u2019t have anything to show in terms of clothes!\u201d that is how Lackson introduced the topic for debate last Sunday afternoon.<\/p>\n
\u201cIzinso ndiye zachokera kuti abambo <\/em>[where is this subject coming from, man]? Asked Joe, as everyone nodded in agreement while most members of the Crew thought that day\u2019s talk would dwell on religious issues in the country.<\/p>\n As Lackson seemed set to engage another gear of his \u2018crazy\u2019 spilling of emotions sugar-iced as facts, Aunt Liz, one of the regulars at the joint we had gathered in Lunzu, joined the tongue \u2018rapping\u2019.<\/p>\n \u201cYou know what, Lackson? Today you are in more than your normal senses. Tell them the truth. These fellow men of yours can spend over K30,000 or more during a drinking spree , but even fail to buy the very basic thing a woman can proudly add to her wardrobe. Shame!\u201d she said, finishing her sentence by imitating some Pidgin English, synonymous with our brothers and sisters from that huge country that houses Boko Haram.<\/p>\n \u201cTell them, tell them!\u201d another stranger of Aunt Liz type added her bucket-full of derogatory venom.<\/p>\n \u201cYou will be the ones to be ashamed when you find your wives busy rushing after \u2018Food warmers\u2019 being sold in Limbe, or what is that other place in Lilongwe? \u2026oh, yeah! I remember they call it Old Town\/Malangalanga!\u201d she said, with all of us not really understanding whether her sentiments were hysterical or mere shouting associated with feminine verbal diarrhoea.<\/p>\n But \u2018Atsogoleri\u2019 Rob M was already into the verbal battle ring. \u201cWait a moment\u2026 wait! Is it wrong for one, let alone our wives, to rush to vendors that are selling \u2018Food Warmers\u2019 in markets?\u201d<\/p>\n The two ladies, Lackson and the barman went into stitches. We all wondered as to what was happening, even your very own started openly insinuating that the trio had taken too much of the same green stuff that makes Malawi a hero of a nation among other crazy global societies.<\/p>\n \u201cMwachisuta eti? Choseketsa n\u2019chani apa?\u201d <\/em>said \u2018<\/em>Atsogoleri\u2019 <\/em>Rob M, his usual hoarse voice at the ceiling of audibility.<\/p>\n \u201cYou mean you don\u2019t know what \u2018Ma Food Warmer\u2019 are in the street language of town? You men look like people about town but I know you are just like fist timers to Kabula, or let me say strangers to Blantyre City\u2026 Shaaa!<\/em>\u201d said Aunt Liz.<\/p>\n \u201cNow, just tell us, tell us Liz, and do not mock us. Not everyone here knows everything about town. And you should also realise that we are getting older and may not be aware of the language being used by the new generation,\u201d chipped in Joe.<\/p>\n Liz said she could only elucidate the new puzzle unless we bought her a drink. In no time at all, her crate-turned-table was full of ciders.<\/p>\n \u201cOK, all\u2026when you hear a vendor in Limbe, Blantyre or indeed any other place, shouting kupeza ma Food Warmer<\/em>, it is not about the ordinary food warmers. They are selling women underwear. So the catch line is \u2018Food warmers\u2019!\u201d she said, before continuing.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd all that is because you can\u2019t buy for them and you don\u2019t give them adequate money to at least buy new under cloth. Are you surprised that you find battalions of women kneeling or kukutumula <\/em>some old-junk of second-hand clothes\u2014 that include half petticoats and underwear \u2014 even along the streets in Blantyre?\u201d<\/p>\n At that, Lackson clapped his hands and summed up: \u201cJust go near the entrance of Queen Elizabeth Central Hospital and you will see hordes of women, buying second hand brassiere and underwear at a price as cheap as K100 [one hundred kwacha] \u2013 and even cheaper!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u201cGuys, most of us are a shame. That is a fact. You mean you cannot afford to buy your wives descent clothes? And, by that, I mean \u2018under clothes\u2019 inclusive? Most of you even travel outside the country for conferences, seminars or business trips, and your spouses don\u2019t have anything to show in terms of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":21781,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-42651","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42651","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=42651"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42651\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":42652,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/42651\/revisions\/42652"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21781"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=42651"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=42651"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=42651"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}