This dude that has just joined us in the Crew is trying to be part of us. He has a rude awakening though. His showy and pompous self is dwarfed by the brains in the Crew.<\/p>\n
He starts boasting about how he sires beautiful girls and handsome boys. He talks of how he, and his loving wife, has raised the kids and offered them the best education.<\/p>\n
\u201cNdine mashini akuluakulu, sindine munthu wamba <\/em>– one kick – mapasa [I am strong, I am very productive, I don\u2019t hesitate to produce twins]!\u201d I feel pity that, out there, there are some guys who cannot bear children; they even go about adopting kids. God forbid!\u201d the showy guy boasts.<\/p>\n His name \u2013 at least what we have been told is his nickname \u2013is \u2018Abig\u2019; meaning he is not an ordinary person, he is rich, a businessman who enjoys the reputation of a \u2018real cash man\u2019, not at par with those who brag about buying rounds of beer around Kamba, Chigwiri, Luwinga or Mzuzu Old Town. This is a real guy, a khumutcha!<\/p>\n He continues: \u201cThe goodness of being a father is that you have the best of love from the kids, and not even from the wife. Your children cannot bewitch you, your children cannot wish you bad…and guys, my children love me, I am a good father, they have a good father!\u201d<\/p>\n But \u2018Atsogoleri Rob M\u2019 tries to censure the \u2018Abig\u2019: \u201cBoss, why don\u2019t we just keep on drinking, because it is not only you who has got children. After all, we all love our children.\u201d<\/p>\n But \u2018Abig\u2019 is adamant: \u201cLook, this is a different case because some people don\u2019t know how to love their kids; they don\u2019t even know how to be proud of them.\u201d<\/p>\n He goes on boasting and boasting, making everybody like they don\u2019t know how to raise a family, and indeed love their children. He boasts how his youngest child wakes up at night and calls for the father \u2013 not mother.<\/p>\n As everyone is becoming displeased and irritated about this, some lady, one of the regular ones at the joint, laughs loud.<\/p>\n \u201cA Gama inu, tazisiyani zimenezo, mudziuza amene sakukudziwani. Mwatani kodi alamu? Bongoloro sadzolera mafuta pagulu, mudzakhumudwa <\/em>[please don\u2019t talk a lot in public because you may one day be disappointed]!\u201d she says.<\/p>\n \u201cHie Patuma, I did not know you are here, how is Lilongwe? By the way, why are you trying to gag my showcasing of the happiness I have in my family?\u201d says \u2018Abig\u2019.<\/p>\n We wonder what Patuma, one of the regular patrons to this joint, knows about the new-comer-pompous dude.<\/p>\n As the guy, I mean \u2018Abig\u2019 continues with his loud mouth talk, Patuma pleads with him to stop, but he does not.<\/p>\n Then the unexpected happens. She beckons the guy and shows him some SMS message on her phone; immediately \u2018Abig\u2019 starts breathing fast.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, it can\u2019t be. No, you should be lying. No, it must be a mistake!\u201d he exclaims.<\/p>\n The guy drifts between finishing the stuff in his tumbler and rushing to his vehicle. He leaves the stuff, and starts off for his vehicle, but the barman follows him.<\/p>\n \u201cSir, you have not settled your bill!\u201d He just throws some wads of cash to the bar man, looking very disturbed.<\/p>\n \u201cHehede, amuna inu! Musamachite matama <\/em>[you men must not be boastful]! Exclaims Patuma.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat is happening?\u201d the bulk of the Crew ask in unison, confused.<\/p>\n Patuma says: \u201cYou know what, the wife of that dude is my cousin, and because of circumstances\u2014 me being her best friend\u2014 she confided in me that the guy is incompetent. So, the children he is boasting of are a product of his long time house-boy, the houseboy the wife sold to \u2018Abig\u2019 as the best worker the family has ever had. He has worked for the family for 16 years and, indeed, \u2018Abig\u2019 did not know that the salary he was paying the guy from Mtakataka is not only meant for services of washing plates and cleaning the house. The salary has also been payment for warming his own bed sheets and, indeed, siring the children he calls his!\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAmangwetu, this world is very cruel. So, we men should not boast of paternity. It is only the woman who knows a child\u2019s father! Koto ineeeeeeee <\/em>[my gosh]!\u201d shouts Lackson.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" This dude that has just joined us in the Crew is trying to be part of us. He has a rude awakening though. His showy and pompous self is dwarfed by the brains in the Crew. He starts boasting about how he sires beautiful girls and handsome boys. He talks of how he, and his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":21781,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-41277","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41277","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=41277"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41277\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":41282,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/41277\/revisions\/41282"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21781"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=41277"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=41277"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=41277"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}