There is some place in Blantyre, close to the police station, where pub talk is usually diverse. Within the complex, there are three bars: one for those who like loud music and the other two for gurus who like sipping their \u2018stuff\u2019 as they tackle all sorts of issues in debate.<\/p>\n
It is in one of the latter where we are. We start with the more popular common bar before one of us suggest the subject our talk is centred on deserves a more \u2018private\u2019 place.<\/p>\n
And this subject has come in a very funny way but has graduated into a serious debate.<\/p>\n
The talk ignites after one of the young men in our company talks of how his neighbour beat his wife and ended up becoming a subject of ridicule in the community.<\/p>\n
\u201cEti zoona kumenya mkazi n\u2019kumuotchera zovala zonse <\/em>(just imagine beating the woman and also setting all clothes on fire)? The things some men do, leave me disappointed I was born a man,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat did the wife do to deserve that barbaric treatment?\u201d I ask.<\/p>\n The young man tells us that the man had discovered the wife was cheating on him and rumour had it that he found the lover \u2018in action\u2019 with his wife.<\/p>\n \u201cNanga osangomusiya mkaziyo <\/em>(why not just divorce the woman)? Really why the husband should set the clothes on fire? He will just be burdened in spending more money to replace the clothes,\u201d says my friend Grawel.<\/p>\n But some young man with grey hair for a moustache says we are wrong in demonising the husband. He says there is nothing as devastating as finding out you are sharing a woman with another man\u2013be it a wife or a girlfriend.<\/p>\n \u201cThe husband was even right to set ablaze the clothes because those may have been the things that were making her look good to the point of the other man coaxing her to bed,\u201d he says.<\/p>\n \u201cZofoira basi, kupanda nzeru kumeneko <\/em>(its\u2019 just a crazy and dull reasoning). The wife can continue \u2018prostituting\u2019, the best he would have done was eject her from the matrimonial home because he achieved nothing by beating her and setting her clothes ablaze, he did not solve the problem,\u201d says Grawel.<\/p>\n \u201cBut don\u2019t you think it is better to maintain the devil you know than divorcing her and start scouting for a new one. Guys, let us learn to forgive, even the Bible advocates so!\u201d Exclaims \u2018Atsogoleri\u2019 Rob M.<\/p>\n But our controversial \u2018foot soldier\u2019 Joe bashes the reasoning. \u201cAtsogoleri, you and me know that the worst thing a man can tolerate of a wife or even lover is to have someone partaking in his bedroom specialty. Any man who can forgive the wife after being caught red handed doing that sort of thing, deserves to be admitted at that other special hospital in Zomba, where people with mental disorders are treated.\u201d<\/p>\n I come in: \u201cAnd what happens if and when we men are caught by our wives and lovers committing adultery? Are we better placed to sin than women? Have you people read a book called Animal Farm<\/em>? This tendency of being harsh on women and thinking women should be soft on us is actually the like the concept \u2018some animals are more equal than others\u2019 as advocated in the Animal Farm<\/em>.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThen, we should all go for the concept of \u2018Cut the head, get rid of the body\u2019 when any one of the couple in marriage is caught in adulterous acts. Zizingothapo basi, bandi igawane zida <\/em>[the relationships should just end]!\u201d says Joe, ending the debate with a round.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There is some place in Blantyre, close to the police station, where pub talk is usually diverse. Within the complex, there are three bars: one for those who like loud music and the other two for gurus who like sipping their \u2018stuff\u2019 as they tackle all sorts of issues in debate. It is in one […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":21781,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-35323","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35323","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=35323"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35323\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":35327,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/35323\/revisions\/35327"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/21781"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=35323"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=35323"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/archive.times.mw\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=35323"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}